Twisted
by Lumosify
Summary: It was reckless, so very reckless. And yet, I didn't regret it. What I'd thought was pure impulse was in fact some dark, horrific part of my soul that had been unveiled due to my recklessness. And no matter how hard I tried to push it away, it crawled back into my mind, whispering sinful things and contaminating my every thought. ONESHOT!


**Written for Astronomy in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft &amp; Wizardry (Challenges &amp; Assignments) forum.**

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"Hermione," Ron greeted me, patting the bench beside him. I beamed and took the seat, immediately beginning to fill my glass with pumpkin juice.

"What's got you so happy?" Ron asked, noticing my unexplained joy.

I simply smiled, taking a sip of my pumpkin juice.

He raised an eyebrow. "You hate pumpkin juice," he said, gesturing to my glass.

I said nothing, instead opting to fill my plate with every food imaginable. Even I wasn't quite sure why I was so happy. Not after what I'd done.

Either Ron was oblivious to how one-sided the conversation was, or he thought I would eventually say something, because he moved on. "Think Snape'll be as hard on us as every other day?"

_No, actually_, I wanted to say. _Once he finds out what happened overnight, he might become the happiest bloke on the planet._

But I kept my mouth shut, because I knew the consequences.

"Right, then," Ron frowned, trying to figure out why I was so quiet. "Are you okay?"

I took a bite of my food and grunted noncommittally. Ron took that as an affirmation of my good health.

He glanced around, probably trying to think of something to say. Finally, he asked, "Where's Harry? Usually he's here by now."

I shrugged as casually as I could. As far as he knew, I didn't know anything…

_I was furious. I was so very furious. I'd had the worst day of my life – my essays horrible, my body totally incapable of carrying my weight to each class without tripping over something, the homework assigned so hideously _boring_ I could hardly think – and he just sat there, perfectly happy._

_As if he hadn't just stolen my title as star student in Potions. As if he hadn't broken my streak. As if it were perfectly fine to _cheat_ and _lie_ the way to the top – following some idiot's notes in the margins of a Potions journal, for goodness' sake!_

_He was supposed to be failing Potions, occasionally with Ron, just as always! He was supposed to be the one who was absolute rubbish, the person that could always be counted on to somehow mess up his potion. I was supposed to be the one that was rational and calm and the teacher's pet, not him!_

I'd always had jealousy issues. I guess I'd never known just how far I'd go to get what I wanted.

_Before I could think, before I could reason myself out of it, before I could shake myself out of my horrible mood, I'd pointed my wand at the back of his messy-haired head and the jet of familiar bluebell flames shot towards him._

_And as one of my best friends burned to death, instead of feeling horrified and anguished, all I could feel was cold hatred and cruel, cruel satisfaction._

It was reckless, so very reckless. And yet, I didn't regret it.

_Why didn't I regret it?_

What I'd thought was pure impulse was in fact some dark, horrific part of my soul that had been unveiled due to my recklessness. And no matter how hard I tried to push it away, it crawled back into my mind, whispering sinful things and contaminating my every thought.

And despite all this, I felt nothing but pure joy at the thought of Harry dead. Why did I feel like this? Why was my mind so twisted that it couldn't feel an ounce of remorse?

"What are they doing?" Ron whispered to me, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw the staff congregated at the High Table.

It wasn't hard to figure out what they were discussing.

Finally, the staff separated, and I saw a lot of sorrowful faces among them. Instead of looking happy, like I expected him to, Professor Snape looked blank, as if he couldn't comprehend what was happening.

Professor Dumbledore raised his hand for silence, and the students in the Great Hall quieted.

"I am afraid," the Headmaster said, looking pained, "that a student has gone missing." The whispers that began were silenced by his next words.

"Despite searching all over the school, we have found no trace of Harry Potter."

The students roared to life, screaming and shrieking. I could see a lot of tears, and I wondered how much of it was for Harry, as opposed to concern for their own safety.

"We will continue searching, but we fear he may be beyond our reach."

"Does that mean – " Ron began to ask me, but stopped short at the sight of my indifference. He stared at me, and I attempted to squeeze a few tears out, but it was no use. I felt absolutely nothing.

I could see something registering in Ron's brain. He gazed at me for a long moment.

Then, he shook his head, as if dispelling his thoughts. So quietly I almost didn't hear him, he said, "No. Hermione Granger would never do that."

_No,_ I realized, horror dawning on me. _Hermione Granger never would._

_Then who am I?_

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**I'm not really sure where this came from. And yes, I do realize that Hermione Granger would never do that. I have my ideas as to why she would do such a thing, but I want to leave this open-ended. I suppose that means I want you to draw your own conclusions. Why do _you_ think she did it? And if you can't believe Hermione would ever do something like that, _why_? And if you would like to hear my ideas, you are welcome to ask me, through PM or review.**


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